on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I didn't notice because vodka
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
