I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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