i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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