He disabled his match.com account in front of me
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize