So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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