Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
