The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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