I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
We have started to decorate penises.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
