Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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