She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
