I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
