the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize