what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
