i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
