Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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