I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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