I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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