Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
