Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize