So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
