Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
