I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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