That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Pants are for mortals
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
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