So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize