Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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