He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Are we still banned from the library?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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