Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize