I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
