Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
