You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
