Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
