Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
this will be a night to untag.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
