Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
high people should be assigned attendants
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
3pm strippers are depressing
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Randomize
