Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
