Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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