Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Woke up backwards on a recliner
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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