cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize