At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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