Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
