i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
operation have a gay friend backfired
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
