Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
