party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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