yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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