dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
