I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
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He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
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Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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