She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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