Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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