im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
