sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
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He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
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All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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