I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
