That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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