I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
