put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
