he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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