He disabled his match.com account in front of me
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
